ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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