maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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