I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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