I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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