people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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