next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
