sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
