Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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