The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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