We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
