There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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