Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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