Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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