I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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