The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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