Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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