Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
