barbara walters just said penis...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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