I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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