I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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