I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
