We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
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We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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