her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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