So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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