so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize