Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
