i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
