WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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