The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
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do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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