the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dignity is for republicans.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
