my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
