Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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