Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
