Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
