Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
