My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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