There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
