morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
