i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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