Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
