He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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