shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
