i think my mom watched the whole time
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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