Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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