her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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