there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
