just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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