Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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