normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Life is so much better after having sex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
