I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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