I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
