How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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