i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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