oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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