I can text with my tongue
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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