careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
