The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
