It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
come find me please
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.