Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong

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  (248): the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong http://tfl.nu/52o9
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (574)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline

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  (303): That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline http://tfl.nu/qmbu
  Replies (6) Good night (2397) Bad night (1016)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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  (860): I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore. http://tfl.nu/igz1
  Replies (32) Good night (830) Bad night (3172)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?

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  (919): Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/378f
  Replies (18) Good night (2295) Bad night (769)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.

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  (407): I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test. http://tfl.nu/drd9
  Replies (17) Good night (5857) Bad night (1384)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well

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  (412): At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well http://tfl.nu/es2k
  Replies (7) Good night (4093) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  since 2006

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  (207): someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship? (1-207): since 2006 http://tfl.nu/9t6c
  Replies (7) Good night (2355) Bad night (671)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.

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  (913): Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon. http://tfl.nu/apie
  Replies (7) Good night (661) Bad night (1106)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.

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  (410): Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/m5qa
  Replies (10) Good night (488) Bad night (895)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (392)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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  (506): That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room http://tfl.nu/htix
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (467)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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  (630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r
  Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband

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  (406): Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband http://tfl.nu/ysmf
  Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.

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  (208): I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join. http://tfl.nu/8sfb
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.

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  (336): After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/f6sp
  Replies (1) Good night (540) Bad night (202)

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