Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.

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(812): View more from Indiana

her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis

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(714): View more from California

Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me

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The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break

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(847): View more from Illinois

I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.

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(914): View more from New York

Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.

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