someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just google imaged poop.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
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At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
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I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend