Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.

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  (541): You don't need id to drink rum in an alley. http://tfl.nu/aqpy
  Replies (17) Good night (3726) Bad night (639)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
  Replies (19) Good night (913) Bad night (3842)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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  (612): I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy. http://tfl.nu/yhkq
  Replies (23) Good night (3419) Bad night (1622)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"

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  (302): He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!" http://tfl.nu/6j56
  Replies (34) Good night (1530) Bad night (4806)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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  (401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h
  Replies (22) Good night (888) Bad night (4429)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic

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  (303): i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic http://tfl.nu/ibrs
  Replies (44) Good night (5439) Bad night (1552)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?

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  (678): did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin? http://tfl.nu/67r3
  Replies (29) Good night (4324) Bad night (1165)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...

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  (561): Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all... http://tfl.nu/2j9n
  Replies (11) Good night (655) Bad night (2412)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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  (570): They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier. http://tfl.nu/s3gh
  Replies (17) Good night (2193) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?

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  (208): And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs? http://tfl.nu/xb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (1517) Bad night (552)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony

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  (409): Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony http://tfl.nu/ljga
  Replies (2) Good night (1385) Bad night (412)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy

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  (304): i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy http://tfl.nu/mdww
  Replies (7) Good night (535) Bad night (762)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.

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  (317): Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ma7i
  Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong

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  (215): candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong http://tfl.nu/hvis
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.

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  (916): I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/dadk
  Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (298)

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