yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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