Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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