Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So apparently I’m into choking now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize