New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
