we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
